I’ve been talking about ‘Your Perfect Day’ to friends and acquaintances for so long now that I thought that I should write it down and put it on this here website.
The idea was introduced to me by my friend Hannah Scarlett during my 40’s when I was living in Brighton and had absolutely no clue in which direction I was headed in my life. I was feeling somewhat lost and depressed as a result.
She suggested that I write down my idea of a perfect day. In an ideal world where everything was perfect, discarding any family or financial constraints, what would I be doing, where would I be doing it and with whom would I be doing it? If I couldn’t think of anything then make something up. I couldn’t, for the life of me, think of anything so what I made up was as follows;
“Living on a tropical island, teaching scuba diving during the day, running a bar and playing music in the bar in the evenings and having a yacht to go from country to country as and when I please.”
Quite fanciful methinks, (or methought), and this was before I had even been snorkelling. I had tried sailing around Poole harbour once but I think I spent more time capsized that I did actual sailing – it was a complete mystery to me.
But as fanciful as it was, the whole scenario seemed like a really cool thing to be doing in a completely made up vision of my life but, I really didn’t think it was possible – not with where my life was at that time. Just surviving on council benefits and doing odd jobs to finance my weed habit.
The next step was to flesh out the details. In no more than an A4 sheet of paper, I was tasked with writing down how I imagined the day would go, from morning to night, again making stuff up if needed to but making sure it was good stuff that would have me happy and smiling the whole day.
This a revised version of what I wrote:
MY PERFECT DAY
“I wake up and smile. Life is brilliant. The sun is streaming, as always, through the large patio windows that form two of the walls of the bedroom. The birds are welcoming me, and the day, with a delightful chorus and I can also hear the soothing waves lapping on the nearby shore, kinda calling to me. The strong and invigorating tropical smell of the sea and the lush Caribbean fills my nose and I breathe it all in. It is deeply satisfyingly. I turn over and indulge in one of my many pleasures, watching my wife gently sleeping beside me with a smile on her face and pure love in her heart. We had had a passionate night – as always.
I slip out of the bed, being careful not to wake her, and wander down to the water’s edge which is only a few steps away. I nestle into my usual meditation position and for half an hour I let the rhythm of the world pass me by in quiet mindless contemplation. Once I’ve had my fill and the sun has warmed my soul, I dive into the water to wash off the remnants of the night’s loving. After a lazy swim I head back to the beautiful house, which we designed, and find my wife sitting on a kitchen stool wearing nothing but an oversized white linen shirt and a smile, eating her morning porridge and greeting me with those adoring eyes which I find so irresistible.
After we have had one of our long and deep but sparkling conversations, which seems to be part of our morning routine, I head into the studio part of the house to finish off the track that a well-known artist has asked me to put the finishing touches on and weave my musical magic with. My wife steals in a little while later, as she often does, and cheekily tries to distract me with that flirtatious ‘come get me’ smile of hers which almost never fails to work.
Later I call my son and manager of my dive shop to see how things are going. He complains that today, once again, we are oversubscribed with students and divers but too few dive instructors to cater for them all – we are very popular. So, I head over there to give him a hand by leading a couple of dives exploring the nearby coral reef.
When I get home later, my wife has cooked a delicious vegan meal. She has taken an impromptu day off from her work as a project manager in the very successful business she also owns and runs so she can work in our garden that has become one of her passions. She has plenty of staff to cover for her. She is very happy.
After dinner we walk to my bar, hand in hand and barefoot along the edge of the water with the warm gentle surf caressing our feet and tickling our toes. The bar is a few hundred yards down the beach and we walk mostly in silence but sharing and bathing in the togetherness of the moment. I have to break off on the way to the bar to get my trombone which is on our large and comfortable ocean-going sailboat that is moored midway between the house and the bar.
Once we get to the bar we are greeted with a loud cheer from the many patrons and a few grumbled “It’s about damn time” from the Hollywood A-listers, who frequent the bar. They are keen to win back some of the money they lost to me in the previous night’s raucous poker game.
My wife settles herself in behind the bar to help the bar staff as it’s going to be a busy night.
It’s a full moon and we are having our usual ‘Full Moon Party’ which starts with our regular band, who have asked me to guest with them on bone, followed by the ceremonial lighting and dancing around the huge bonfire on the beach to tribal music, some of which I have produced. The party is well known and draws people from all over the island and neighbouring islands too. It is the preferred way for people to find escape, dress up and celebrate into the early hours by going just a little bit crazy. It has become a well-loved monthly tradition that has become one of the attractions for the island.
During our walk home along the beach, my wife confesses that she has been itching to have me inside her all evening and we make love on the sand right there, after which we go skinny dipping in the sea and make love some more.
Once we get home, we light the fire that is in the centre of the living room and snuggle up on the sofa gazing into the flames and talking until the sun starts to rise greeting a new day.”
The whole point of the exercise is to find something that inspires you, that fills your heart and soul with joy, love and contentment, even if it is made up. But so much so that it can stimulate a change in direction for you, give you something to aim for perhaps, that is worthwhile. It may seem like an impossible dream and that you have no idea how to go about getting there but at least you have a direction in which to point yourself. Anyway, who says that it’s not possible to be ‘living your dream’. You just gotta go out there and make it happen.
It is said that if you find something that you set your heart on achieving, then the ‘universe’ will help you get there. If you resolutely stay on course you will find the cosmos will help and things will start falling into place like it was your destiny all along.
So, for me, bearing in mind that I had not been scuba diving before, I signed up to do my PADI Open water course initially to see if I actually liked it.
However, the very first time I was underwater, in a pool in Roedean, my overwhelming thought was Wow! This is fantastic. I have to show other people how to do this.
Since then I have dived in The Caribbean, Mexico, Australia, Bali, Turkey and, (only when necessary), the UK. I am a (lapsed) Open Water Scuba Instructor (re-qualifying soon). I love it!
I am also going to do my RYA Day Skipper sailing qualification in October 2025 and am keen to get as much sailing experience in between now and then.
The island I had identified was Dominica, but apparently, so I’ve heard, rich Americans are moving in to turn it into a holiday resort. So I’m now looking at the Pacific islands. Tonga, Samoa, Vanuatu etc. We’ll see what turns up.
Yes, I know it’s been almost 20 years and I’m still not there yet but what this determination has given me is a focus so that I can make all my decisions with this goal in mind – and it makes life so much simpler.
So there you have it. It’s working for me. Why not see if it could work for you if you don’t have a positive horizon in your life.